Tidbit of Information – My husband, child, dogs, and I live in a 5600 square foot house … with my mom and maternal grandparents. This sounds a little nuts but it has actually worked out good for us so far in our married life. We moved in shortly before we got married (well, my hubby moved in and then I joined when we married). My mom joined us about 2-3 years ago after selling her house. The house is actually like 2 houses stacked on top of one another. My grandparents and mom live upstairs and we live downstairs. We have our own entrance, bathroom, bedrooms, kitchen, everything. This arrangement at first was out of necessity as hubby and I were just married and broke with a capital B and entering graduate school. Then Little Man came along and it was nice to be under one roof with family. And now… well now, we’re just still there. We only recently got full-time “real” jobs. Plus we’re in a ton of debt and need to pay that off before we start saving for the house. My grandparents are in their early 70s but super active. They have their own business which they still run every single day. But possibly the main reason, the one that people don’t understand, is – we sorta like it.
We have friends who shrug this off and then we have friends who think it’s totally and completely bizarre that we live with a parent and grandparents. “Don’t you want a house,” they say. “Don’t they get on your nerves?” Well, yeah, of course they do, as I’m sure we get on theirs occasionally. But isn’t this how families all over the globe live? Why do we see it as such a big deal?
The fact is we could move right now, but we shouldn’t. I like to think that little difference right there makes me a grown up. Doesn’t it all come down to needs and wants? In fact, if all my plans come to fruition (i.e. another child if the universe allows it, back to school for MEd, saving mucho money, travel), we may be there another 6 years. It’s convenient. My grandparents love it, and they’re not getting any younger. I think it’s better to spend time with family while they’re here AND let my child(ren) have a close relationship with their great-grandparents. It’s done wonders for my child to be raised in a multi-generational household.
We all work together in a communal sense. We pay rent – always have. We pay comparable to what we would pay for a 2-bedroom apartment in our area. We do not pay utilities except our own phone and internet cable lines. We have offered on numerous occasions to pay towards the other bills but have been refused. My mom pays them rent too. I figure between the 2 of us, we’re paying most or at least 2/3 of the mortgage. On nights we’re all home, we all eat dinner together as a family. It saves on cooking, food expenses and the hassle. Hubby and I both teach at the local university on Wednesday nights. My mom gets Little Man and brings him home to the house where he is feed, bathed, and ready for bed when we walk in the door. It just works.
I don’t think we have any business moving until our finances are straight, and given the current economic conditions, that could be a long time. Plus, not to be morbid, but my grandparents will be gone one day. If we move now, when we really don’t “need” too, will I look back one day and wish we had been with them as long as I could?
Sometimes I wonder if it is just an inability on my part to separate myself from my family (although hubby seems to want to stay put too) Am I lying to myself about this?